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Franklin's Philosophy of Life
in His Own Words

312 Pages $14.95

Essential Emotional and Social Lifeskills

What They Are and Why They are Essential

The Cardinal Character Trait
There are several lifeskills essential in developing the cardinal character trait (the ability to think rightly). Together they frame how we look at the world and process information. Our emotional and social skills frame what we think and our thinking skills frame how we process information. You can learn more about these essential thinking skills at Thinking Lifeskills.

Here we want to discuss four emotional skills and three social skills that frame what we think. Together these emotional, social and thinking skills combine to form the cardinal character trait.

4 Essential Emotional Skills

Personal Responsibility
Personal responsibility consists of four elements —ownership, rights, duty, and accountability. Since taking ownership of one’s choices is a prerequisite for the acquisition of all other virtues, learning about personal responsibility is a good place to begin in helping young people to think rightly.

As children learn to take ownership of their choices, to act within the boundaries of their rights and duties, and to accept accountability for their choices many wonderful things happen.

Self-Respect
Self-respect is a pre-requisite for respecting others. Much of disrespectful behavior originates from people who are trying to build themselves up by tearing others down.

Self-respect is more than self-esteem and has little to do with ego. It can not be bestowed, nor is it dependent upon the approval of others. It can only be achieved through a virtuous and self-approving conduct, without which a person can never be wholly at peace or truly happy.

Self-respect requires a good understanding of one's self plus a healthy dose of self-discipline and self-reliance.

Respect for Others
There is an unfortunate tendency in many people to strive for ascendancy over others which is often expressed in brutal and unfeeling ways. There is an equally destructive tendency for people to focus on differences between themselves, without recognizing, either the things they have in common, or their mutual dependency.

Hence, a large portion of the human race, view themselves as adversaries rather than as fellow travelers striving for common goals.  And, instead of working together for their mutual benefit, they spend a great deal of time, energy, and resources in trying to destroy one another.

The virtues of caring, fairness, and citizenship lie at the very root of civilization itself and cannot be ignored or discarded without the risk of losing all that makes life worthwhile. It is the interest, as well as obligation, of every responsible adult to pass these virtues on to the next generation.

Trustworthiness
A free society is built on trust. The less trust there is, the more laws there are. The more laws there are, the less freedom there is. The relationship is direct and inescapable.

Honesty and dependability are absolutely indispensable to the existence of trust.

Those who cannot be trusted cannot be relied upon. Thus, they are forever a risk, if not a danger, to themselves and others. Either, they will never obtain positions of trust and responsibility, or if they do, sooner or later, they will injure someone, and in doing so, will bring injury to themselves as well. 

The absence of trust can explain a great many difficulties and much of the unhappiness people experience in the world

The long term commitment to developing all other character traits rests on three core beliefs.

Three Essential Social Skills

The root of these three skills are core beliefs that govern how we treat and interact with others. They frame our perspective of life and what we think about ourselves and others.

Core Belief One
There is a living, loving God, creator of all, who hears and answers prayers.

In order to overcome the divisive forces that tend to alienate individuals and groups based it is essential to recognize that we are all of a family, created by God for the same purposes with similar needs and similar desires. In this context it is important for children to recognize early on that our differences create mutual dependencies and add variety and beauty to life.

Core Belief Two
The greatest service of God is doing good to man.

This was a core belief of Benjamin Franklin that provides an invaluable perspective on what our highest exercise of social interaction can and should be. It is hard to imagine that anyone governed by such thoughts will have any trouble living with others, especially those of similar ideals.

Core Belief Three
The golden rule is the gold standard in human relations.

Proclaimed by most religions over centuries of time, yet ignored by the mass of humanity, this is the surest standard for effective and wholesome social interaction. In many respects it is the alpha and omega, the beginning and end of all social skills.